Overcoming “Writer’s Blog”

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Posted by rootid Category: Blog

There is a first time for everything, and this process is no different.  I have always considered myself a decent writer, writing letters of recommendation for colleagues and various endorsement blurbs and the like.  But I find that despite my ability to brag about people I adore while having some fun and success with it, the act of blogging for the first time has left me quite paralyzed.  It has given me what I call “writer’s blog”. 

It causes me to reflect on why this has happened, given that I really like writing, and feel fairly competent.  I am aware that the block comes with a substantial amount of nerves…and I can quickly compare the feeling to the nerves I experience before I perform.   In this case I know the nerves exist at least partially as a matter of comparison.  It makes me a bit uneasy to think that this completely fledgling blogging adventure will be in effect “advertised” right along side the audio clips, reviews, photos etc. that have taken more than a century (or a lifetime) to develop.  Feel the fear and do it anyway? Check.  I have always been good at that.  And as the writing flows, I am lead to another source of the block, shedding light not only on what I need to work on as a writer, but what I need to strengthen in myself as a person.  By this I mean that just as I had to learn in performing, MY version of a role is the best version. MY sound is the most well received.  However when I enter into a process, for some reason the first inclination I have is to imitate something I have heard or seen which I (and everyone else, of course) deem to be “excellent”.  I wanted to look up and read every blog ever written and formulate from there, but as I was streaming over the good and the bad, I realized that all I was doing was searching for other peoples ideas.  More inauthenticity.  I know (as I have always known, but took a lot of years to develop the guts to execute it) it serves me best to be myself, in all of my strengths and short comings.  I spent many years of my career listening to many people tell me how to dress, what to do, what to sing.  And while I received much needed guidance at certain points, I began to follow WAY more than lead.  I realized that a change needed to be made in the way I owned my voice, not only in singing but in life.  I am learning to forge my own path finally, and do so with confidence.  I am learning to venture outside my comfort zone and try to represent who I am and what I do without apology.  So with this new adventure of blogging, I seek to follow suit with the rest of my authentic, beautiful, flawed process of life- I will write what I want to write, not what I think people want to hear.  I will stop judging myself harshly and try to let creativity play like a little kid in a sandbox (that image is really fresh, as my son Liam just got a really cool sandbox). 

Today is about not fearing change!  I changed my website.  I’m living the ever changing life of a parent. I am changing my management. I am changing the way I do business.  I am now a blogger.

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